Random thoughts

I think there should be a mid-life crisis medical leave act.  My company should have to let me take a 6-week leave of absence to be away from work....to learn...to be inspired....to recharge. I'm sure I could find a physician to confirm that I am suffering from boredom and "what is the meaning of my life" syndrome.  I should be able to use all of my available sick leave toward this, as well.  I think this is a brilliant idea.  And my company would get much better work product from me as a result.  I mean, think about it.  I haven't used any sick time for having babies and haven't had astronomical medical bills from said baby.  I am cheap labor!!!  I DESERVE a six-week break from work--no questions asked. What would I do?  I'd go to Europe.  Some way, some how, I'd find the means to live there for six weeks and come back a better person for it.

Seriously, sometimes I think if I died today, God would meet me at the gate to heaven and say, "Really? That's all you got? What the heck did you do with those forty years?".  Hmmm, I ask myself that question all the time.     

Day One of Healthy Eating...

Well, I survived my first two doses of ACV in water.  Um, not great.  I had to literally force myself to drink it.  Also, I had a salad for dinner last night (romaine lettuce and tomatoes--turns out they are alkalizing--with zesty italian dressing) followed by some cantaloupe.  Yay for alkaline diet!  The melatonin helped me go to sleep but I woke up at 1:00 a.m. for a couple of hours.  Not good.  Hence, the diet mountain dew I'm currently sipping.  I am consoling myself by agreeing that once my sleep pattern is back to normal, I will stop the caffeine-diet soda consumption again.  I've also been reading up on Dr. Perricone's anti-inflammatory diet.  I'm thinking about getting his most recent book, "Forever Young", and trying that diet once I'm normalized.  That diet, and his supplements, get RAVE reviews from people of all ages.  Great skin and more energy are what everyone is most excited about.  I may be convinced to try it at some point... 

Living healthier

Well, I'm back. So, maybe I was being too optimistic and a little unrealistic on my initial  blog.  I have come full circle (again) since then.  I'm not used to journaling or writing down my feelings so this is new to me.  But I really think this is a good way to hold myself accountable.  So, I have decided I want to, need to, must start living healthier.  Now, although I am always consciously thinking about living healthier, I don't often put it into practice.  I am the person who joins the health club, but doesn't go.  Who buys the supplements at Whole Body, but doesn't take them.  Who goes for bioenergetic testing, but doesn't follow through with the prescribed regimen.  Yep, that's me. For the last 5-10 years (hard to remember how long it's been now), I have not felt like myself.   No energy or focus.  Can't get anything done.  Tired all the time.  So, I'm going to use this blog to experiment and write my experience.  About 3 years ago, I was diagnosed as Hypothyroid and was elated!  I finally had an answer and it was treatable! Synthroid corrected the numbers but did not "fix" my symptoms.  So, I have been taking Armour thyroid since and my thyroid levels remain normal.  But, again, I am still tired and can't focus.  I have been reading about homeopathic remedies on this website (http://www.earthclinic.com/) and it seems that Apple Cider Vinegar (ACV) cures everything! Okay....yes I am skeptical, too.  But what the heck? So, beginning tonight, I am going to start taking two capfuls of organic ACV (with the mother)--no I don't know what that means but it says so right on the bottle that I purchased from Whole Foods--and we'll see how that goes.  It's supposed to help with fatigue...as well as many other things.  Also, I'm going to get some melantonin to see if that helps with my recent sleeping problem....cause we all know lack of sleep is the mother of all ailments.  Finally, I am going to try to improve my diet.  According to my most recent bioenergetic test, my body is very acidic and I need to be on a alkalized diet (this explains my GERD).  Which means I'm not supposed to eat anything fun.  No dairy, tomatoe-y foods, white flour, refined sugar, artificial sugar--literally every kind of food I LOVE! On the other hand, I get to eat broccoli, asparagus, cucumbers, watercress...I can hardly contain my excitement. But, I am going to look at this as an experiment at this point and see how it goes.  Once I get my body balanced, I am going to start integrating exercise into my life.  So, I'm going to start with my daily dose of ACV and a more alkalized diet, and see where I am in a week or so. Stay tuned...

Becoming Tonya

So, today, while running on the treadmill at the downtown YMCA, I thought about making a bucket list of all the things I want to accomplish before I'm 40.  The bucket list eventually turned into an idea to blog.  Not that I think anyone is the least bit interested in my life, but maybe this is a better way for me to chronicle how I got here and where I'm going.  A good way for me to see how far I've come when I do hit the big 4-0.

Once upon a time, not so long ago, the idea of turning 40 hit me like a ton of bricks.  I could hardly think about it without shedding a crocodile tear or two.  I really cannot explain what has changed, except that in the past month or so, I have really started to feel hopeful and excited about life for the first time in a very long time. Maybe it will help to tell you a little about where I've been. 

I was raised in a tiny, tiny town (can you say not a single redlight in the entire county) in Kentucky.  Very close-knit community--the best thing that came out of me living there is a gaggle of really close friends, most of whom I've known since kindergarten and still communicate with on a daily basis.  And of course, a good, solid foundation and maybe a tad bit of learning from an early age exactly what I did not want.  I moved to the big city, aka Nashvegas, 12 years ago and have fallen in love.  Stores on every corner, fabulous shopping, a diverse collection of "new" friends and wonderful career opportunities.  Everything a girl from Bee Spring ever dreamed of.  Well, almost.

So skipping a lot of good times, late nights, great decisions and terrible mistakes, in 2006 I was engaged and had a different plan entirely.  I had toyed with the idea of law school...got accepted...and didn't go.  I use the ex-fiance as an excuse, but really, as much as I tried to make it right, it just wasn't the right thing for me. Early that year, the ex confessed to having a girlfriend and it was done (after a string of not so nice language that I haven't uttered before or since that incident but dang it felt so good!)  I mourned for a bit...not as much for him as for the change in plans and the idea of starting all over again with someone new.  In all honesty, his girlfriend was a blessing to me.  I had been praying for a sign...and boy did I get it loud and clear.  But the good thing-- no turning back, no second-guessing, no regrets...a clean break and moving forward. So, then I hit a plateau for oh about 4 years.  I'm not going to say there weren't good times mixed in there, but there was also a lot of depression, stress and tears.  I no longer had any dreams to follow or any goals to reach.  I was just getting by. Wondering how I'd missed the boat, who was going to take care of me when I got old and feeling sorry for myself. 

So, ladies and gents, I'm not real sure what happened...maybe a combination of things, but all of a sudden, I want to soar!!!  I want to do everything!!  I have so many things to accomplish before I'm 40 and so little time to do it!!  I'm hopping on this train, or maybe roller coaster, and can't wait to see where I end up.